


Was I Ever Yours to Keep?

by traqicalromance



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traqicalromance/pseuds/traqicalromance
Summary: There a few things Oikawa regrets more than letting you go.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	Was I Ever Yours to Keep?

Life’s missed opportunities often never seemed missed until it was much too late. Like a punch to the gut, it knocks the wind from you when you least expect it.

Oikawa Tōru wasn’t a man of many regrets despite the few shortcomings he faced. But never once did he scold himself for failing, rather he pushed himself past his breaking limits because that’s what you had to when you failed. You worked yourself to the bone to make up for the loss and vowed to do even better the next time around. That was how Oikawa operated; he didn’t allow himself to wallow in self-pity or to left his goals flounder in a sea of self-doubt.

But as Oikawa faced foreign feelings that stirred deeply within his chest, regret seemed to be the only familiar emotion that could be fished from the stormy sea that swished around his head.

His third and final year should have been his best year, after all, he was the captain of the volleyball team, he had his sights set on nationals, and despite injury, he felt that he was stronger than ever. But there was you, his close friend from childhood. The one person whom he could never seem to rid himself of. Whether it be from lingering thoughts as the day passed or from the dreams that plagued his mind at night. Even when you weren’t physically beside him, you were still with him in spirit. He felt foolish to be so enamoured by you given that it was him that ruined things.

On a picture-perfect day near the end of first year, you had mustered up the courage to bare your soul to him. Clutched tightly between your fingers was a pretty pink envelope with his name on it, a box of his favourite sweets held behind your back. Oikawa had never seen you so skittish, your nervous trembling visible as he made his way towards you from across the campus. You couldn’t meet his gaze as you thrust your letter towards and he just stared back at you in confusion.

_“Another one?” Oikawa mused, inspecting the paper, “I wonder how many people I’ll have to tell for our classmates to understand me.”_

_He hadn’t meant to hurt your feelings._

_Your eyes were glassy as you peered at him, desperately trying not to frown, “What do you mean?”_

_Oikawa shrugged his shoulders, his disinterest apparent._

_“I’m not interested in dating or reading stupid sappy love letters.”_

_He shoved the letter into his backpack without a second thought. He needed to get to volleyball practise soon, if he wasted any more time he’d be scolded by both the coach and Iwaizumi._

_“Oh,” you frowned, shoulders slouching in disappointment, “Well I carry your message. Make sure you don’t get any more stupid sappy love letters right.”_

_With your hand tucked behind your back you gave him a watery smile. At least he had the courtesy not to toss the letter out right in front of you._

_“Thanks, N/n-chan! I appreciate it~”_

With that, he left you standing there in the courtyard, tossing a cheery wave over his shoulder as he jogged to the gym.

It was months later that he’d open that envelope when his mother told him to clean out his backpack in preparation for the new school year. It came tumbling out from the bottom of his bag, the corners crumbled, and the once heavy scent of perfume nothing more than a faint trace. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that you, one of his closest confidants, would have a crush on him. But there dotted along your favourite stationery was every feeling you had ever felt towards him. His heart jumped at each and every line, an overwhelming sense of sorrow filling him. A gap fell between the two of you that day and it only widened as the two of you grew busier and busier. But he never ceased to regret brushing you off because he wasn’t mature enough to see you in a romantic light.

Though was bothered him more than his callous actions was that as time went on, he found himself bewitched by your presence.

But, it was too late to rewind time or to mend your relationship.

So rather than rehash what was surely a painful memory for you, Oikawa filled his time with other girls around the school. He had plenty of admirers all vying for his attention; there was no trouble in finding someone to fill the hole growing in his heart. He didn’t miss the way your eyes lingered on him in the hallways, a sad smile sent his way as you pressed yourself against the lockers.

Then one day they disappeared.

Only to be replaced with lovestruck sighs and girlish squeals as you stared intently at your phone screen. He was glad to see you happy but his heart ached at the sight because while you were busy mending your heart and falling in love, so was he. It surely was karma, for feelings to blossom once you were stitched back together. At eighteen he regretted not taking a second to give you the attention you deserved because now it was him staring longingly at you among the throngs of people who passed through the hall.

Perhaps this was what he deserved, after everything that had transpired, he deserved to fail at yet another thing.

The locker next to him slammed shut, Iwaizumi’s hand pressed against the cool metal. Saturday morning practice had just ended leaving the rest of the day free. Oikawa had no plans but as soon as he passed through his bedroom doors he was sure that old volleyball tapes would call his name, claws sinking into his skin until the images seen on screen were burned into his retinas. Maybe it wouldn’t be so lonely if he roped in Iwaizumi or even Yahaba.

Pressing his back against his locker he watched Iwaizumi button up his shirt, “You look nice Iwa-chan,” he hummed, eyes narrowing, “Got a hot date you’ve been keeping secret?”

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, focusing on smoothing out his clothing. But the tinge of red that flooded his cheeks gave him away.

“Yeah, actually,” he said, “I’m going out with Y/n for lunch.”

Forcing a smile Oikawa pat his friend on the shoulder. It made sense, you and him. The two of you always were very close, swapping secrets and shy smiles all throughout middle school.

“Oh.”

Slipping his backpack on Iwaizumi checked his phone for the time, “Mind not telling anyone? Kinda wanna keep things quiet until we figure things out.”

He gave Oikawa a stern look.

“Of course” Oikawa grinned, pretending to zip his lips, “Just uh… just make sure to take care of her Hajime.”

He’d make you happy, Oikawa was sure of it. There was no need to sad or to lose sight of what was important to him. You were never his to begin with, he had no claim to your heart, not the right to feel any sort of heartache.

But, _it hurts so much to want something you can’t have ___

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! if you enjoyed this check out my [Tumblr !](https://traqicalromance.tumblr.com) for other things I've been working on!!


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